Like pouring molasses in January

I have been struggling with some extreme fatigue these past few weeks.  I don't know if it is stress or the weather or what.  I pretty much sleep whenever I am not working. This means I am not getting a lot of crafting done. I get so frustrated when I mentally want to do things but physically I just can't. 

I am calling the doctor to get my thyroid checked again and am going to commit myself to the green smoothies which always give me energy. I am also trying to give myself a break and let myself sleep. I think sometimes we push ourselves so hard and try to do everything that we end up fried and depleted. 

My life as a Grad student had me in a perpetual state of panic. Always something to read, to write, to grade when I was teaching. There was always the looming qualifying exams, the dissertation, or the need to be publishing and presenting. I could never catch my breath. 

There were also financial concerns that kept gnawing at me. Living below poverty all the while piling on more student loans and seeing the job prospects grow smaller and smaller left me in a state of continual panic.

On top of this was the feeling of not being right. Feeling like what I was doing was going against my grain. Near the end I started calling this period of my life a Jonah moment. For those of you unfamiliar with the bible stories, Jonah was called by God to go somewhere. Well Jonah decided to say heck, no and beat it in the opposite direction. On the way, his fellow shipmates blamed the horrid storm they were stuck in on Jonah's disobedience. They chucked him overboard and he was swallowed by a whale/large fish. Jonah sat and stewed in the fish until he agreed to go where God directed him.

Back to what I was feeling. I felt like Jonah because I was stuck in an uncomfortable spot because I was doing the wrong thing. Unlike Jonah I had no idea what I was supposed to be doing. I guess I am still searching for my path. Part of my path searching is listening to my body more. Hence the sleeping more and giving myself more breaks. All the push push pushing has led me nowhere. What if I just let go and see what happens? Follow instincts instead of the shoulds? 

So here I am, trying to put my creativity on the forefront. Writing things down for all the world to see even though I cringe every time I release a post in case it is badly written or just ridiculously self centered.  But I am here. Doing it. 

After all this seriousness I want to post some fun things.


Lynne went to Falling Water with her goddaughter this weekend and brought this back for me. The wheels of my mind are spinning like crazy trying to come up with some cool ideas to do with it.

I also worked on creating some beads for a vegetable garden themed bracelet.

Last but not least, I need some opinions on what is the best way to use these cute heart bead frames I found. Here are the two options.

The top one would be more charm bracelet like. I have a couple different heart beads on the way. The bottom one would be like a chain link of the hearts together. 

What do you think?

As always thanks for reading. 

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